Valus_: analyisis

We, at the research lab in London, have experimented with various drugs over our lifetime. 

As a result, we can affirm this kid is stoned off his mind. 

The background is a composition of clouds, basically screaming, "high! high!". 

Have you heard the saying, 'as high as a cloud?' 

neither have we. 

The moose (shirt logo) is symbolical of Canada. 

This strange creature with wings on it's head is a moose. Never have we seen something as bizarre as this thing, why is it's nose so massive? 

Furthermore, the moose's smile and our participants are highly similar in appearance. This person may develop wings overtime.

The early stages of this are apparent although the location of the wings may be slightly offset. 

For whatever reason, most of our 'Reddit' participants are mixed breed. This is something we had expected, and thus we come prepared with all the relevant and professional info.

Jester_the_Fester: analyisis

This participant resembles one of the characters in the well established animated film; Ants.

There is a clear difference, the participant is clearly lying on a bed. As far as we know, ants do not own bed thus we can out rule the idea of a breed between human/ant (how the hell does that work?). 

The heavily gelled, streamed hairline suggests speed. The lack of air resistance allows this participant to jog at a fairly fast speed, however, this is wasted due to the Reddit hobby he part takes in which takes up the majority of the day.

His facial features suggest a life of pondering, which is highly contagious online. His stare looks through you, similar to that of the Mona Lisa. 

No matter where you look... where you hide... he is looking. But there is no threat, as he is pondering. Pondering about the existence of life. The existence of his alternate subterranean lifestyle. 

The various relationships, both insect and human. 

This causes confusion, and plenty of thought. 

(Da Vinci would be pondering this too)

Kooldudey60: Analyisis

We, at the lab, enjoy the occasionally chocolate every now and then. We are humbled and truly excited to announce we have found the grown-up Kinder 'kid'.

Taking away every young girls innocence with that Di-Caprio stare, confusion and concern as puberty hit-early from this simple packaging design. 

This marketing technique being effective, as the packaging would get crumpled and addicted girls from all over the globe would storm into stores just to glimpse at this ideal Nazi German figure of blue-eyes and blond hair that should overrule all other races. (Hitler's perspective does not represent ours.)

Now, suspicion has risen regarding how obesity has not affected this participant. Being given unlimited access to Kinder 'Schokolade', it is unknown how he has maintained his shape. 

(Is he an impostor?)

Upcoming program, 'How to stay thin eating 20 Kinder's a day" featuring Kinder Kid. 

Gra_pe: analyisis

At first, our team showed glances of confusion as we examined this unique picture.
We had never witnessed a crossbreed between broccoli and a human.

After thorough examining, including contact with our US correspondence lab, we managed to yield more accurate results.
This sample is a crossbreed between a 'pineapple' and a human. It seems like the US sure knows their vegetables, and thus we can confirm these similarities.

The 'auto-portrait' of our subject reveals a framed photograph of a flower in the background. This further emphasises the mixed-gene pool of his family, maybe being a photograph of his father/mother.

This Lilly may be a close family member, we don't know as they can't speak.
We are struggling to understand how a sexual relationship between a human/pineapple/Lilly can lead to the creation of a multi-genetic-vegtebietic human.

Meanwhile, we continue our pursuit of knowledge. Cases like this make us doubt how much we truly know about the universe.